tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83116359034838560642024-02-18T20:35:52.686-05:00Fight the Good Fight!I've found my voice in this world and believe very strongly in self-advocacy. If you don't stand up for yourself, why are you complaining about life? I finally realized that I've got to be proactive and speak up. I want to share my stories with you, which I hope will inspire you to fight the good fight!Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-62198644648956431672016-03-02T10:55:00.002-05:002016-03-02T10:56:44.808-05:00Pigeon-holed: Mothers of America<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is what it feels like, to me, to be a working mother in
American right now. #TheStruggleisReal is so much more than a hashtag to any
woman who is trying to balance working, raising children, being attentive to
her spouse, and managing a home. Some of us even have ailing parents for whom
we have to care too. Forget defining an identity in any of that –there’s no
time. There are days I don’t even recognize myself anymore because I’m worn so thin.
I feel faceless to those who could change all of this. But this isn’t a piece
about “woe is me”- it’s about how seriously mothers are taking their jobs these
days. It’s a piece on how I see an opportunity to change things… </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m doing what so many of us are doing- following the
unspoken rules of how to get by. My fellow mamas out there, we have become less
patient, more tired, less inspired- just doing what we think we have to do.
We’ve got our children by the hand- but they don’t see us. We give them what we
can but it’s not enough because what they want is us- at our best- and it’s
also what they deserve. We are rough sketches of who we would otherwise be,
given different circumstances. Just like I’d be a better artist if I had time
to develop my talent. Somewhere in the corridors of my soul it still echoes
that I am unique… and have something to offer to the world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Notice that I didn’t
say “career” a few sentences back, because working is what it is that the vast
majority of us are doing. Two jobs? I couldn’t handle the emotional toll that
working a second job did to my children. Some days they saw me for a mere 20
minutes before I dropped them off at daycare, and then didn’t see them again
until the next morning. Women everywhere are sacrificing entirely too much of
their experience in motherhood without any choice in the matter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I piece together an honest living with a hard-working husband
in an attempt to keep up with a rat race against time amidst acronyms that
dictate the time we earn with our children. Paid Time Off. It’s precious and
mine is spent strategically stringing together doctor’s appointments. It’s
spent trying to understand how I owe more on student loans I’ve been dutifully
paying for 15+ years. “It gets better” we hear… but it’s the reality of where
we are- and have been- the entire time and I know we are not alone. I also know
there are people far more tired and battered than we are, and that breaks my
heart. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
FMLA- great- if you’ve been working somewhere long enough to
use all your sick time and all your vacation time, IF you’re lucky- you could
ALMOST piece together a full 12 weeks with your newborn child. It was a choice
to grow our family to four of us. It shouldn’t feel like a burden that we
created a family together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t have a budget. The deal is- I don’t spend any
money- he pays all the bills- and he deals with the ulcers of juggling
spreading the money out where we can so that it covers everything, barely. Our
penny pinching is making Lincoln cry at this point. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My children see me at my most exhausted, my most worried, most
pre-occupied and there isn’t any PTO available for me to use to give them what
they want: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>. And you know that’s
all our children want is our attention- for us to see them and understand them
and make memories with them. How do we even do that anymore? What are these
children of ours learning from this? Hard work doesn’t really get you anywhere?
The American dream is really just to survive? Everything society says we should
do to get ahead is a sham? I hope that last one is what they hold onto with
both hands.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know what I want? I want to get to know my children
better than their daycare providers. I don’t care about climbing a ladder- it’s
not worth it- it doesn’t get me more time at home with my kids- it doesn’t pay
me more so I can worry less. I want to use my talents to make a living. I want
to be who I am meant to be and not who society signed me up to be. I’ve been
pigeon-holed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see that nightmare that is a lost identity for me and a
boring childhood for my kids and I don’t want to claim that as my stake in the
American Dream. How do we change it? It starts by teaching our children that we
must love ourselves enough to do what we want to do. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I paint watercolors and I repurpose jewelry. I
write and sing songs and teach them to find the down beat and dance to the
rhythm of the music we blast in the house. I give them the best half hour I’ve
got in me before they go to bed at night and listen intently to the stories of
their day. I teach them to create by creating myself and I don’t ask them what
they want to be when they grow up- I ask them what they want to DO. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doing is
what matters… doing the right thing… doing what makes your heart sing… and you
know the only real reason I’m able to do any of this, don’t you…? It’s because
I don’t let myself think for a second that I can’t. Let them hold onto that
idea…. And maybe you should too, if this resonated with you. Don’t think you
have to settle for this if it’s not who you are, DO what makes you who you are-
start somewhere. Do this with me, please. Our future literally depends on it. </div>
Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-76380830453104629102012-02-07T21:28:00.000-05:002012-02-07T21:28:37.876-05:00Positive Thinking Goes a Long Way....It's been an eternity since I've posted...<br />
I've completed my Master's degree now.<br />
I've bought another car and kicked ass on its purchase.<br />
I'm pregnant with our second little one- 8 weeks or less left to go.<br />
I'm still working full time but exploring my options to figure out how to make more money with this new degree.<br />
We were in the process of trying to buy a house- but my husband has lost his job- so we're back to square one on that...and too bad too- because we were locked in on one hell of an interest rate if we had found something to buy. (it just wasn't meant to be, I guess....)<br />
Which leads me to my point...<br />
I've gotten pretty far just thinking positively, not allowing myself to indulge in negative thoughts which could potentially lead to my demise in any number of situations. So, I'm thinking positively that my husband will find a new job- one he'll love and be happy with. I'm putting positive energy into this whole home-buying process....that when we're meant to buy a house- we'll get a lot of house for our money- and the absolutely perfect home for us. I'm putting positive thought into this pregnancy- while we don't know what we're having, we'll be all set for another boy- and if it's a girl, we've got a lot of hand-me-downs that we've heard will come our way to help us prepare for that new joy. I'm also putting positive thought into whatever I'm supposed to be doing with my life...<br />
So I have this degree, but music has always been my passion. I've always been too afraid to put myself out there...too afraid to be rejected or embraced....afraid that I'd have to sacrifice something of myself to make music a priority in my life...and it's all because I haven't put positive thinking into that area of my life...I haven't invested in it. I think it's time to put some good energy into something that fulfills my being, don't you?<br />
What are you doing to invest positive energy into your life?Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-36160830709331497022011-03-17T13:23:00.000-04:002011-03-17T13:23:51.762-04:00Embracing Positive FeedbackIn this day of electronic communication, we have a unique opportunity to capture some of the positive feedback we get- in writing. As an employee who strives to be innovative, creative and hard-working, when I get positive feedback, I hang on to it! I have an email folder entitled "Yay Me!" which contains all emails telling me that I've done a good job or show an appreciation for work or collaborative efforts that have paid off favorably. I have every variety of positive feedback readily available for me to review on a day where perhaps the negative outshines the positive.<br />
I encourage everyone to keep a "yay me" file of their own, if for no other reason to literally acknowledge the fact that someone in your life has recognized your hard work, your dedication, your victories, whatever they may be. It's important to feel validated from time to time, and this is a great way to boost yourself up! I also review these little gems before a difficult meeting, project, encounter- whatever. It helps me to feel the confidence others have in me, so that I can in turn have it in myself. So, don't be afraid to relish those moments of appreciation and recognition, they're fuel for your fire to continue to do well, or pick yourself up after you fall. It's how we can continue to stay motivated in life.<br />
It's also worth noting that you should share your appreciation for others' work with them. It takes no time at all to recognize people in your life and tell them they're good at what they do, or offer some tidbit of inspiration. You never know when your words are the ones keeping someone going...Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-26404808748421221422011-03-07T12:36:00.000-05:002011-03-07T12:36:57.828-05:00Dominating the Week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKiybOc5lPySt2GzzSHvwzRuPrt9f3zIIx7dFcFyDzXCmqEKHmE8ISHW8ObiHDB5cV1pUi6XKw-TKSyBSGWD-MlKzWG0A9Jq-Crrd-ght0e_rkzX-zD2tFCkz9NywKzNi5inMhu-N6Dmo/s1600/cooking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKiybOc5lPySt2GzzSHvwzRuPrt9f3zIIx7dFcFyDzXCmqEKHmE8ISHW8ObiHDB5cV1pUi6XKw-TKSyBSGWD-MlKzWG0A9Jq-Crrd-ght0e_rkzX-zD2tFCkz9NywKzNi5inMhu-N6Dmo/s320/cooking.jpg" width="281" /></a></div>Being as busy as I am makes it necessary for me to put a little extra work in so we can have home-cooked meals each night. I take most of the day on Sunday to make the meals we'll eat all week, or at least get them to a place of preparation so they can be tossed in the oven to cook. <br />
I always feel a huge sense of accomplishment by getting my meals prepped. It gives me great satisfaction to know I'm still able to take the time to prepare our meals because sharing food I have made is still one of my favorite ways to show how much I love the people in my life. I know my husband appreciates a home-cooked meal, and I know it means we're eating healthy (as long as we're not eating too much!)<br />
It gives me an opportunity too, this Sunday event of mass multi-tasking, to feel the fulfillment I typically get out of being in my kitchen, with my apron on, cutting, mixing, and tasting away. Everyone wins when I take time to do something I love to do!<br />
Also- it's great to start out my week knowing I have that huge responsibility off of my plate and I can focus on spending some quality time with my son before he goes to bed, and with my husband before I dive into my grad school work. I've dominated my week already, have you?Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-44745458600326306252011-03-04T09:29:00.004-05:002011-03-04T10:08:15.502-05:00How I do what I do...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwKDMIB4d8AZovNCAc__Ymr9w3YrBcHuelFEtOg_S8XeGY4uuLe4Fvp_9GVpvkntvoa0Vz9LltTQzaRvSkgmoRk8qAS-mgWC2_UQ8hwtXsg_GDHfdL-yxa5tezTMglr6vP3remWbIMESM/s1600/multitasking_woman.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwKDMIB4d8AZovNCAc__Ymr9w3YrBcHuelFEtOg_S8XeGY4uuLe4Fvp_9GVpvkntvoa0Vz9LltTQzaRvSkgmoRk8qAS-mgWC2_UQ8hwtXsg_GDHfdL-yxa5tezTMglr6vP3remWbIMESM/s320/multitasking_woman.gif" width="320" /></a></div>I've been asked on several occassions "How do you do it all?!"<br />
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I'm a full-time employee, a wife, a mother, a grad student, a musician, now exercising daily, counting my calories and I manage to stay motivated and positive (for the most part.)<br />
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Well, I'd posted it in a status on Facebook once upon a time, but I want to make it official here:<br />
I do what I do and am capable of doing it for this simple reason:<br />
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I never let myself think that I can't do it.<br />
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I have too much going on to invest any negative energy in self-doubt. And while it IS a constant struggle to keep all the balls I'm juggling in the air, just going for it is proving to be completely worthwhile.<br />
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I used to put a lot of energy into self-doubt, and it just about ate me alive. I'm not the most confident person in the world, I struggle with a lot of body-image issues, self-esteem issues, and just general insecurities...but I manage to be very high functioning despite all of this.<br />
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I believe in trying. I believe in having faith in yourself and trust that you can do something and do it well...and I believe in learning from shortfalls and or failure. It's unrealistic to think you'll never fail at something, but that should never be a reason to not go for it. I'm going for it...all of it...and so should you. Life is far more fulfilling that way. Also- it doesn't hurt to have a husband who believes in me whole-heartedly and who has my back no matter what. I hope many more of you out there are lucky enough to have that, or to have it someday and know what it is to be completed by having that kind of love and support in place.<br />
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That's a shout-out to you, Luke. You make being me possible by being you. :) Thank you!Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-24088623176619432222011-03-03T22:15:00.005-05:002011-03-04T10:31:56.881-05:00Turning Over a New Leaf...Exercising for WellnessSince the last time I blogged, I've been able to lose about 4lbs. I joined Loseit.com and keep track of my exercise and my calories now. I keep getting badges from them that praise me for exercising, for staying under my calories, and somehow all of this continues to motivate me to work hard to reach my goal. I'm friends with some amazing women on Facebook and we're on a mission to lose weight and get in shape together. I feel a strong sense of community with them, and I feel good about talking about diet and exercise with them...and challenging them to join me on these ridiculous several day-long exercise adventures...and I hold up my end of the bargain just because I've thrown it out there. Who knew that could be so motivating? Which reminds me...I'm due to institute another challenge.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXt7bZSD9FhZkhEfTr09sfxUVtUTqqlAB90tlAqh7yFeQvsWqSeWxBPCMWFjdyWQwmeXxQIOAtuKxrWnvJMZLMgH9HuIRclcXNJ1m7IaedCVmm3GnhJUJaynpZhML2dAWa5BFFV3TMOt4/s1600/leaf+in+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXt7bZSD9FhZkhEfTr09sfxUVtUTqqlAB90tlAqh7yFeQvsWqSeWxBPCMWFjdyWQwmeXxQIOAtuKxrWnvJMZLMgH9HuIRclcXNJ1m7IaedCVmm3GnhJUJaynpZhML2dAWa5BFFV3TMOt4/s200/leaf+in+hand.jpg" width="163" /></a></div>I do yoga every day, if I'm healthy enough to do it. I have enough dvd's now that I can change it up and keep it challenging and interesting. I feel like a new woman after I complete a workout. I have addressed the issue of needing to get exercise, have acquired some much needed "me" time, and I have relaxed myself so I can be my best for the rest of the night and on into the next day. I only wish I had started this a long time ago...but better late than never...and better to be turning over that new leaf now so I can hopefully (finally) establish the healthy habit that is exercising for wellness and not just weight-loss.Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-1938227920410551122011-02-09T12:02:00.002-05:002011-02-09T12:08:10.219-05:00Getting in Gear...Of all the things I try to do to make my life better, there's two seemingly simple things I have yet to get under control: eating healthy and exercising consistently. I waste a lot of time fussing about weight and body image rather than putting the energy into making changes...well, now I'm trying to turn that around.<br />I'm active in a group that posts their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wednesday's</span> weigh-in faithfully- despite gain or stagnation...and I'm trying to ramp up my exercise routine. I've started with Yoga...for weight loss. I'm tracking all my calories and exercise on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">LOSEIT</span>.COM. I haven't had a piece of candy since New Year's....haven't had ice cream at night in at least a week, have exercised 5 days in a row so far, and have lost 5.5lbs since last <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Saturday</span>...It's a start. These are the last big things I need to tackle to truly be successful in life. I have the career thing, the education thing, the relationship thing, the mom thing under control...now to eat better and get good exercise...why? So I can instill these values in my children and keep up with a very active husband! I'm fighting my own "good" fight now....Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-90182541474768321952011-01-27T21:11:00.002-05:002011-01-27T21:17:12.740-05:00It's been a while!So, I have been very busy...had a baby boy...tried to go all natural on that...of course complications ensued and interventions were necessary but I did a damn good job, if I say so myself, and I do.<br />So he keeps me busy. I took a full 12 weeks of maternity leave- whether we could afford it or not and I will never regret doing that. Not for one moment. It was magic. I watched his eyelashes grow...<br />I am still doing grad school...still working full time...I fought for myself and got myself a new title, got the proverbial "them" to notice I was doing the work of two people and maybe someday I'll get a hand so I can focus on some of the more fulfilling stuff...not that doing purchase orders and mail merges isn't...fulfilling...well, it's not for me anymore anyway.<br />I am fighting to lose the last 10lbs of weight gained during my pregnancy and am having a hard time with it. Honestly, the one thing I've never committed to in my life is exercise. I eat well enough, I feel, but exercise is the missing piece in my life to help balance out everything else that I do and get my body as fit as my mind. It's a work in progress...<br />I'm still trying to think of the next best thing that will help me to create a service or a product that will really help people and that will afford me the opportunity to live comfortably and help others out financially.<br />I am still fighting the good fight, more to come on that someday when I can post about it. And believe me, I will.Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-83268900357001278532010-03-06T17:09:00.004-05:002010-03-06T17:13:53.243-05:00Momsrising.orgI walked out into the garage today to check on my husband and he'd left the radio on. Broadcasting for just me to hear was a story about a so-called "motherhood manifsto"... the woman was confident and articulate and it caught my attention immediately, particularly because I'm pregnant. Turns out there's this great grassroots movement called Moms Rising that has a website at: <a href="http://www.momsrising.org/">www.momsrising.org</a> and they're fighting to change the policies regarding maternity and paternity leave in this country. I didn't realize that the united states is one of only 4 countries in the world that don't offer a paid leave for new moms... there's lots more that they're trying to change and it's a bandwagon I'm eager to jump up on! Given my own discontent with maternity leave at my place of employment, I'm all for trying to help change things for anyone else who comes along and wants to have a child and who will ultimately be faced with the incredible challenge of not having paid time off to recover and bond with their little one. Check out their website, they've got great things to say and lots of ways you educate yourself and get involved!Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-28591955872406910422010-03-06T17:01:00.004-05:002010-03-06T17:15:26.245-05:00Car shoppingToday I bought my second used vehicle. I was successful at getting exactly what I wanted. I got the lower interest rate, the 48 months instead of the 60, got all the quirks fixed free of charge, got way more money for my trade-in than they originally were willing to give me, got my new car payment lower than my old one...got the car I was hoping to get at exactly the price I wanted. I wheeled and dealed and fought a good fight. I'm proud of myself today for sticking to my guns and making those car salesmen make the numbers work time and time again until I was satisfied. This car buying thing isn't so bad if you're willing to keep walking away until they're begging you to come back. It might have been just a small victory, but it was a cost effective one, one I'm going to be able to carry with me for the entire time I own this vehicle. Yeah, I'm feeling like today was a good day!Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311635903483856064.post-66239502110764435892010-03-05T13:13:00.006-05:002010-03-05T13:27:18.994-05:00Using my voice...Since returning to college full-time as a non-traditional student, I've realized that I have a lot to say, a lot to learn and am forever seeking to satiate a thirst for more out of life. I've decided that I'm worth fighting for, that there's a reason I'm a human being and not an ant. Living in this country, I have the opportunity to fight for my rights, to stand up for what I believe in and to self-advocate. So, I'm doing just that, one battle at a time, one quality victory at a time. I'm not an egotist by any means, just someone who's stumbled upon a serious case of self-awareness. I'm eager to share my stories with you, my adventures, my humble opinion and perhaps advice. I'm hoping you join me on your own parallel journey of self-advocacy, because if you don't stand up for yourself, who will?Phoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06556299691685633843noreply@blogger.com0